Velveeta honors that weird helicopter guy in the mall

Velveeta wants you to be like that weird, annoying helicopter guy in the mall. You know the guy you desperately try to avoid so he doesn't give you a pitch on how his plastic toy can change you and your family's life? Him. Velveeta is now using that very guy to try and get you to consume their cheese and shells combo. Confused? So are we.

Velveeta's new ad campaign entitled "Eat Liquid Gold" misses the mark by a fairly wide margin. While other companies claim you'll feel like a great athlete or the "man you wish your man could smell like", Velveeta opts to set the bar lower and wants you to achieve your dreams by becoming a mall junkie. The company's attempt at irony instead makes their product look like the meal of social outcasts as opposed to the meal of champions. This failed concept performs one of the most heinous acts in the world of advertising – it damages brand image.

Wait a minute – who walks around the mall with a big bowl full of shells and cheese? No one. 

"Achieve your dreams!"

Thanks Velveeta. I'll get right on moving back into my parent's basement. 

"Eat like that guy you know."

I'm good, thanks.

About David Rogers

Editor for The Comeback and Contributing Editor for Awful Announcing. Lover of hockey, soccer and all things pop culture.