Shaq is pushing Gold Bond Ultimate

Because how often do you get to see Shaq rubbing lotion on himself? I really think if you asked him what he was doing, he'd say, "moisturizing perfection." Right – so perfect that they decided to use a different body for the chest shot. I'm not even sure what to do with this one – it's just…bizarre.

It's also worth noting that even lotion ads are using the "you're not a man unless you use this" approach that has now consumed the advertising world. Right – because using lotion is just such a manly activity.

About Reva Friedel

Reva is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and the AP Party. She lives in Orange County and roots for zero California teams.